Youre not chasing a dismissive avoidant if you reach out and they respond and engage in conversation. As mentioned above, in the initial stages of trying to attract back an ex, you may find yourself doing 100% of the heavy-lifting. It's important to identify more nuanced "reaches" from your partner if they are on the avoidant end of the attachment spectrum. Your email address will not be published. Avoidance of long-term relationships because of an intense fear of abandonment is one of the main signs of insecurity in love and it's a primary indicator of dismissive avoidant attachment. You can learn about things like how to text, how to do the no contact rule, how to act if you run into your ex, etc. So, when you see a negative interaction with a dismissive-avoidant ex as them saying I dont love you, it probably actually means I dont want to be vulnerable so I will push you away.. Their actions and words have little to do with you and more to do with their own insecurities and fear of abandonment. Most dismissive avoidant exes are happy with things going really slow and having enough time to explore their feelings for you. Stages a Dismissive Avoidant Goes Through During No Contact In fact, it is the starting point for confirming or denying this . Success Story: How This Woman Got Her Dismissive Avoidant Ex Back Using Attachment Theory. I wrote about this in the recent article you suggested. Be Patient. So, when you have that volume of success, you can look at whats working and whats not. They dont like showing emotions because society has wired them to be alphas who always keep their composure and remain in charge of their life. All he or she knows is that it doesnt feel right and that the relationship is not fulfilling for him or her. Thats why feelings continue to decrease while doubts and frustrations increase. I never hurt her an was never unfaithful. Something must motivate or force them to put themselves under the microscope and admit they have problems forming deep emotional connections and staying committed.